So long and Thanks for all the fish

It is strange but lately I have been feeling that I am lost in a maze and I don't really know where I am going. I have a good job with an ok pay, I have a lovely partner who loves me dearly and I have a good circle of friends who would do anything for me and vice verse.

Yet I feel incomplete.

Yet I feel like I have not achieve anything in my life.

I can't see myself doing the same thing I am doing now for the rest of my life. I know that a life span of a IT person is not that long anyway, so I know that one day my usefulness for this company will expired, or my company will disappear.

If I leave this sorry world now, what would I have contributed to this world. Who have I touched?
I fear that one day people will realise my uselessness and I will be thrown away like used garbage.

This are the question which echo and resound in my head.

Sometimes I wish I am already an old man with his grandkids sitting next to him, to know that I do not need to prove anything anymore. All I do is relax and enjoy life.

Whereas sometimes I wish I was a teenager again so that I could choose the road less travel. To go back to Malaysia and see how my life would pan out.

Is this just crazy talk or just the greener pasture syndrome?